Occupation and Location
Crafter, a former Lemonade salesman, moved to Lumberland to find a better future and a chance to redeem himself from his past history with abusive relationships, life in prison, and people thinking he died, is a Fanon NPC that is located in the Main Biome. He sells Lemonade, expensive items from past events usually at double to triple the original retail price, and can mill wood. He is the only NPC to have the Shotgun. Thom and likely Ruhven are allegedly his long lost sons, shown in a ripped diary page found in his cash register.
Dialogue for milling wood
“Welcome to Crafter’s Large Posterior Store, how may I help you?”
- If a player put a piece of wood on the counter and chooses “I’d like to mill this wood.”:
- ”Alright, that will be $10.”
- If the player then selects “Yes”
- ”Give me a few moments, it will be ready.” Crafter will then teleport to a Sawmax 02L and have an animation where he puts the wood in the sawmill.
- If the player selects “No”
- “Uhh here’s your wood back.”
- If the player choose “Yes” with insufficient Money:
- ”Sorry bub, you don’t have enough money for me to do that.”
- If a player puts an item on the counter and chooses “I’d like to buy this”
- ”Alright, that will be (item price).”
- If a player has insufficient Money and chooses “I’d like to buy this”
- ”Hey, don’t you think about taking that off the counter and taking it outside before coughing up the money, bub.”
- If a player buys the item successfully
- ”Thanks. Here’s the receipt.”, and the player will receive a paper with a random quote or fact, and the cost of any items bought.
- If a player selects “No” when asked “Alright, that will be (item price)”
- ”Uhh yeah just leave it on the counter haha”
- If the item disappeared or fell off the counter
- ”I think your lif- I mean item may have fell off the counter.”
Anti robbery dialogue and anti robbery functions
If a player take a item and it slightly goes out the door
”You better pay for that.”
If a player ignores the first warning and take’s the item completely outside:
”You will pay for that one way or another.”
If a player takes the item and themselves outside
”Alright. I had it. I’m taking your soul and all your axes.”
The player will then be chased down and will die of the very strong shotgun blasts if they do not escape. To escape, simply drop the item and keep running. The next time the player enters his store, the prices will be raised and he will ignore the player quite often. If a stolen item is taken onto a players property, he will simply stand there until the player dies or drops the item. During the time that he is chasing someone, his store will have a defensive wall and defenses raised.
If a player is unfortunate enough to die at his hands, he will take any axes they may have. One can recover them if they go into the cave under his store and complete a obby with no checkpoints. If a player manages to reach the end and collect their axes, the player will be flung out of the cave, and a boxed item called “soul” will drop nearby. It can be dropped in the Wood Dropoff for a random price ranging from $1-10,009,000. The “Keep the change ya filthy animal” sound effect from Home Alone may play.
On holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, his dialogue will change slightly, and his Sawmax will become a Bagumax for about 2 weeks. His merchandise changes a bit as well. His appearance only gains a Bombastic Bling necklace.
”Happy Holidays and welcome to Crafter’s Large Posterior Store!, well it isn’t a store and more of a store on a farm, but whatever! What can I get ya!”
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year, innit? Here’s your receipt.”
Lemonade will now be replaced with different brands of soft drinks, ranging from Builder Brother’s popular Fizzly, Pepsi, Coca Cola, and most commonly, Sprite Cranberry. The rarest is a generic Lunchables Cola.
Gifts from previous events will be sold in large, wrapped bundles with a random number of gifts for a set price.